New years’ didn’t quite start the way I foresaw, as I’ve literally spent the last week in bed, staying home sick since friday the week before this one! I haven’t had that kind of bad jazz since I can remember like… forever!? This friday the fever finally passed over turning into a really bad headache, but yesterday -FINALLY! SO much better! Last night my boyfriend told me to relax while he made dinner, and so I couldn’t help myself but to actually put myself in a little gear, as to find out what I wanted to spend my year on;
My Favourite Fabric’s Help to Self Coaching;
Little did I know when I started out in this business, how much my mental state of mind would have to say about so to say anything that I wanted to get out of my career; My ability to improve, to do better haircuts, better blowdries, how to understand hair color and later on; editorial work and stage performance. To some -the word «coaching» get them to feel like being in a haze and odd about themselves; some feel fright and some even go; «I know very well what I am and how I want my life, so no thank you!». All of them are fine -the fun thing about coaching is that it’s for you, your eyes and ears only, and you don’t have to tell anything about what you discovered!
Now, there are many levels of coaching; Some shallow and some very deep -I learned this from one of my biggest mentors in NY and I simplified it a little to make it easier for me to use in my everyday life, as what I needed it to work with. Fact is; most of the magic of our development happens in every day life, right? This is a simple way for you to target issues, areas in your life or to discover where you need to make a change in order to get in reach of what it is you want to achieve. I promise, it’s easy and I don’t need to know of what it is you want to get coaching on; all the answers you already have yourself. Trust me.
While you’re fetching a pen (or a pencil and rubber), a sheet of paper and a ruler, try to just empty your head and calm down. I know from earlier coaching other on this, their mind starts to run off with tons of questions at this moment; you will find out as we go along.
If you need to go to the bathroom, would like something to drink or snack on, this is the time you do it; you would need the calm over you after to be able to focus, and to listen to your own thoughts. Turn off the radio, telly or the music that’s running if it makes it easier for you. It does to me.
Start by dividing the piece of paper in front of you in three equal parts. Keep working on having a calm mind; it’s not so easy as you would think.
You can now allow yourself to open your mind up to -O-N-E- topic you would like or need to get yourself coached on. I’ll explain;
It could be something practical like your work, going to the gym, improve your studying or a more complex one such as a conflict with a friend, get more energy or improve your cooking skills. The important part here is to close in on one specific topic, so you will be able to focus and hopefully get to the bottom of it. Start with something that’s easy so you’ll get into this. Then you can try more difficult topics. Take a minute now -do you have it? Remember; if you have several things you need to get hold of, you would be able to get them all, it’s just that you have to do several rounds; -one- topic.
Now that you have three equal pieces parted on your sheet, let’s go further on and name them;
«RIGHT NOW!» , «HOW?» and «MY DREAMS…».
So we’ll start with «RIGHT NOW!» and also dividing this into two equal parts naming them «The good…» and «The bad…»; Here you’ll put in ALL of the positive and ALL of the negative aspects of the topic you are asking yourself about; Like if I’m having a hard time getting enough time going to the gym, this would be something to put on «The bad…» side, and the fact that I really get great workouts when I finally got myself there, is something to put on the «The good…» side. Some get a little scared when they see what they’re writing -remember; it’s just written words, it’s only to help yourself. Nothing to be scared about! You can throw the piece of paper away or even burn it after if you’re afraid someone will find it -it’s for your eyes only! Write all aspects down, and as you go along and your two lists are starting to grow downwards, your mind will at some point go silent; very often people start to ask me at this point; «what now?» -It means that there are no more aspects connected to the topic that you know of or are aware of at the moment. If some more will come later on, then just add those to the list as well.
Let’s jump straight to the great part and totally put «RIGHT NOW!» on a good pause! Let’s jump over the middle part, and go to «MY DREAMS…»; you will probably laugh now, but as my mentor told me way back in 2010 when I visited New York for the first time; «People’s BIGGEST, most common mistake is that they dream too small, and they’ll end up much less than they actually would want for themselves because they don’t dare to dream as BIG as they actually want to!». And by her word, that’s what I’m gonna encourage you to do right now! Come on! Yes, I mean it! Write it! What would you r-e-a-l-l-y like to realise for yourself? Just keep this in mind; It still needs to be under the same topic as you started out with in the first place. If the above stated word «Dream» is too vague, let’s say if the answer to what you really long for is to full-fill your needs in some way, or you need your working hours to adjust or your rhythm of your workouts to tend in another way, then it’ easier to by these four to help set you up with this part;
1) What do I want?
2) What do I need?
3) Where do I want to go?
4) How do I want my future…?
Very often, people add two-to-three things they want to accomplish, but only one or even several more is completely normal. Don’t be afraid of your dreams! They’re really powerful helpers!
We’re now going to get to the middle part that I asked you to jump over; the «HOW…?». A lot of you guys will probably experience a big «A-Hah! now; The great task of this one, is to connect the situation you got yourself aware of in «RIGHT NOW!!» and the part you just did in «MY DREAMS…». What would you have to do; what kind of extra effort would you have to put in your everyday life or what part of the situation you’re in right now, would you need to change, adjust or maybe even stop doing, to get to those precious dreams that you have for you and yourself?
If you’re still a little lost, here are some points to help you out;
1) How would I get there?
2) What do I need to do to get there?
3) Where do I need to change?
4) What do I need to change?
To some, the answers come right away! To others, it may take a couple of days, it depends on how difficult the topic is. I’ve experienced both results personally; It depends on what it is that I’m asking myself for. I do this both on small and large topics, and often I update my coaching on the same topic, a couple of months after, just to see where I’m at. It really helps! Also, I find it very inspiring, especially on topics that I feel are difficult, that even if I’m not getting the hang of the answer I need, it will for sure kick me in a step towards a solution of some kind! Or at least just take away the frustration of not getting anywhere with it.
How are we feeling?
Remember; in some cases it could be quite hard to ask yourself the questions that you need and then you’ll have a hard time to find a solution. The answers will come when you’re ready for them, or dare to face them…
I’m so excited to face 2016!
Good luck guys, and let me know how it’s working!